Illiterate
by Kojikuzcoziggy
Summary: With Pit lacking the ability to read, he's subjected to torment from his dark counterpart. However, the latter finds himself grasping for excuses as he's faced with a troublesome predicament - He is also illiterate.
1. A Frivolous Predicament

Dark Pit twirled the thin strip of wood in his hand-a pencil. Legs crossed, he twirls in the chair, pondering about the subject of which to write on. That is what he appears to be doing, at least. Truth be told, the dark angel is merely stalling. As he is a direct reflection of what the other calls his twin, he cannot read, as Pit cannot either.

Slumping his head into one hand, and using the other to lightly tap his face with the pencil, the dark angel heaves a long sigh. "Without being able to read or write, I have no good excuse to call myself better than Pit," the angel mumbles, finding this perfectly acceptable as no-one else is within a distance of hearing him. Letting another sigh slip, Dark Pit slumps into the chair, spinning in circles with all hope draining. Rather than wondering about how to read, Dark Pit's mind wanders onto the question of who to implore for help. He sets some rules, as to not lose his dignity, and to save himself the risk of being humiliated.

 _Obviously they have to be intelligent... Someone who won't make fun of me... And they have to be able to keep a damn secret... Damn._ The trail of thoughts soon comes to an end, as most of the individuals in the roster do not fit the specifications. Instead of trying to think of someone, Dark Pit decides to use the process of elimination.

 _I guess I'll just go through all the smart people, thinks the dark angel. Shulk...? He's a scientist, right? Ah, but he might not be able to keep a secret. Too bubbly. Palutena is a goddess, but she definitely doesn't meet the other two qualities I'm looking for. What about Robin? Both of them are tacticians. The dude's humble, so he's probably the better choice._ With the mixture of the excitement of making the decision and the humiliation of the dilemma itself, Dark Pit stands up with little agility, placing the pencil on the table and leaving the room.

Author's Note: This is not my first fanfiction, but it is indeed the first one to be posted online.


	2. An Unanswered Question

Another frivolous predicament.

Dark Pit watches the tactician stack his books with precision, adjusting them in slight increments as to align the books to seemingly form one. Soon accomplishing said task, Robin steps back in satisfaction. He looks away from the stack, noticing the dark angel staring at him, his head slumped into his arms crossed on the table.

"It's pleasant to see you, but why are you here?" Robin inquires. As the dark angel is already disqualified from the tournament (having lost by a pitiful self-destruct), he has little reason to remain at the lounge.

"What do you mean, 'Why are you here?' I have a good reason," Dark Pit huffs in reply, waiting for the perfect chance to tell the tactician of his woe.

"And that reason is . . .?"

"Because I want to."

Robin sighs, a gentle sigh, and crosses his arms with a smile. "I won't bother pressing you for more information at this point, but it really is nice to see someone around. Almost everyone who gets disqualified from the tournament leaves within a short time and doesn't return." Robin closes his eyes and sighs once more. "Kind of like war."

"You guys from that sword-universe-place are always thinking of war," Dark Pit remarks.

"And as are you, if I'm correct. You hail from a war-tattered dimension as well, don't you?"

Dark Pit lifts his head a bit. "Yeah. I guess wanting to get my mind off of things is part of the reason I came to lounge here. It's not like I'm needed all that much there; and the war's over; anyways." The angel's head falls back into his arms.

"Everyone has their role to play, Dark Pit." Robin grabs the tomes one at a time, placing them in his coat in a strategic manner. "That was kind of an ironic sentence, wasn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"That name makes it seem like you're simply a cliché dark version of Pit. Which certainly doesn't mean you're granted a meaningful role in your world," Robin elaborates, placing a bronze sword in a hidden sheath.

"But I am just a dark version of that loser." While Dark Pit often claims to be the real Pit, he sees little point in telling himself such lies while the latter isn't present.

"Not at all. You were invited to the tournament for a reason. You and Pit are as Lucina and Marth are. Often thought to be the same, but two very distinct individuals." Robin chuckles. "But I'm certain people won't mistake you for Pit."

"Yeah, I guess. But I still don't get what you mean. I'm not special."

Adjusting the levin sword on his coat, Robin finishes his battle preparations. "It was a nice chat, but I best be going. We can always continue this later if you stick around." Striding across the room, Robin opens the door leading to the portal room. "I hope you figure out what I mean."

Dark Pit watches as the tactician closes the door behind him. _Now, I just have to ask him to-_ realization hits the angel like a train, slamming his face on the table where his arms leave an opening. _Dammit!_

Author's Note: If anyone is confused, my head-canon Super Smash Brothers lore isn't simply the Smash Mansion. Read this if you would like; it's optional. Here's my explanation:

Master Hand created all the worlds, so he can control how they interact. To keep Crazy Hand tame, they have Smash Tournaments every once in awhile, inviting new people each time. It's fairly fun for them, but it's optional. They have a system which turns pain into damage, so nobody is harmed.  
It's a short little tournament, and they do have a place to stay for awhile (which I suppose would be the equivalent of the Smash Mansion?) They can fight for fun on their free time. They aren't forced to stay, and can always just come back when they have to fight. Even after the tournament is over, they can come back to fight for fun or to train.  
Rankings in the tournaments determine tiers. Master Hand resizes some of the characters to make it easier. And he manipulates some of their abilities and skills.


	3. A Bold Move

Dark Pit watches the battle with little amusement. Three of the fighters dueling on one side of the stage, whilst Robin charges up his thoron spell on the other. A viable tactic. In the end, the tactician emerged victorious due to his wits. Having come from a world full of war, the results of the battle were no surprise.

As Robin and the three other fighters emerge from the portal room, engaged in a pleasant conversation, Dark Pit watches and waits for the others to leave with an everlasting silence. Noticing the angel, Robin bids his farewells and congratulations to the other three fighters.

"Ah, you're still here," says Robin, striking up a conversation. "Did you figure out what I meant?"

"Not at all. I'm not the brightest. I'm a direct reflection of Pit, after all," Dark Pit replies, beginning and ending with a sigh. "You can't expect someone like me to understand that kind of stuff."

"Ah, but I can," Robin tells, pointing a finger in the air and with a book in the other hand.

Dark Pit lifts his head and sits a little straighter. "What?"

"I mentioned before that you are your own person, and it's true. Even me and the other Robin are very different." Robin wraps his other arm around the tome. "Although we share a spot on the roster and are often said to be the same, we're two very different people stuck in the same situation."

"How are you different?" asks the angel. Just like most of the fighters on the roster, he couldn't tell a difference.

"I'm often told that I'm more gentle and modest. She's more on the brash side." Robin chuckles. "She's more confident in her abilities than I am, and she often gets carried away, but she really is a kind person. We're two separate tacticians working towards the same goal."

"Why do you share a spot on the roster? I thought it was because you're the same person."

"Think about it. Why don't you and Pit share a spot?"

Dark Pit stares into nothingness and ponders. "Because I'm better than him?"

"Hah, not quite, but close. The two of you exhibit different abilities. Robin and I have the same weapons and tomes; we even share a name. And heritage." Robin goes on to elaborate. "The two of us come from alternate universes. Her world is identical to mine save for the fact that I'm replaced with her. And the events that happen correspond with the decisions she makes." Robin smiles. "They're not all that different from mine. But they aren't identical, either."

"Weird. I wonder what it'd be like if Pit and I switched places." Dark Pit glances at his dark wings, making them white in the eye of his mind.

"But the point is, no two people are the same. Just as you and Pit are." A slight pause. "Is there anywhere you should be going?"

"Huh?" Dark Pit's train of thought crashes. "No. But there is a favor I'd like to ask you."

"Oh? If it's something I can do, I'll be glad to comply."

"Yeah . . ." Dark Pit trails off. Crossing his arms on the table, he hunches over and his head sinks in. "I want to learn how to read. And write. And you know, that kind of stuff." Due to the mortifying situation he's in, the angel mumbles this, making it almost inaudible.

The tactician, who had adapted to conversing with dragons on a regular basis, has little problems deciphering what Dark Pit had said. "You're illiterate?"

"Don't mock me, jerk!" Dark Pit retorts with no hesitation, taking the defensive.

"I didn't mean it like that," Robin replies with calm in his voice. "I didn't know. Take it as a compliment."

"Why would that be a compliment? That doesn't mean anything other than you're stupid."

"It means you present yourself in a way that makes you seem . . . Superior. Confident. It's always nice to have some confidence." Robin giggles, having been reminded of his female counterpart.

"So you won't make fun of me?" Dark Pit asks, the hostility starting to drain from his voice.

"Of course not. That won't benefit either of us." He extends his arm forward, palm open. "I'll give you lessons, and they'll be secretive if you want."

"Huh? But how?" Dark Pit asks, not expecting the tactician to accept the request.

"We can meet at the lounge. I'll comprise a schedule for us." Robin smiles. "I'm excited to have befriended someone like you."

But the dark angel had yet to understand what was special about him. _I_ _don't_ _understand. . . But I'll figure out, dammit!_

Author's Note: I'm only putting this here for the sake of consistency. Does anyone else find it irksome that you can't indent for each paragraph?


	4. Child's Play

Dark Pit holds the pencil in an awkward manner, one impractical to write with. "How do you hold this damn thing?" Frustrated yet determined, Dark Pit fiddles around with the pencil in an attempt to find a comfortable position that he could use to write.

"There isn't any real way to hold a pencil," Robin explains to the irritated angel. "It varies for everyone."

"Them how the hell do I hold it?" Dark Pit asks, trying not to be too loud as to ensure that nobody discovers what he is doing.

"It'll come to you. Let's try some writing; that will probably help you figure it out." As he finishes saying this, he anticipates the next thing Dark Pit is going to say.

"But what do I write?" asks Dark Pit. "I don't know any of the symbols."

"For the English language, they're called letters, and there are twenty-six of them," Robin informs him. "Considering we've been speaking in English, I'll be teaching you that. It's much simpler than Japanese, anyways."

"Twenty-six shouldn't be hard to remember," Dark Pit claims with confidence. "Just a second ago I was giving up, but this is gonna be easy!"

Robin chuckles. "There's that confidence again."

But as the saying goes, it was indeed a task easier said than done. This Dark Pit realized as he learned the phonetics of each letter. Over the course of a few lessons, he had learned all the letters in the English alphabet. But he had yet to write. Robin decided to give Dark Pit an assessment before teaching him to form words. Having taken his studies seriously (to the surprise of both of them, sad as is), he fared quite well. Now that he was familiar with the alphabet, there was one more thing he needed to - not so much needed as should - know.

"See? Easy. I can learn how to write now, right?" Dark Pit asks, getting a little full of himself. He never accomplishes much that Pit does not, so the adrenaline was really pumping.

"Ah, but there is one thing that slipped my mind," Robin sighs. "You have to remember the order the letters are in. It's essential to understanding the language."

"That'll be easy! Just write down the order and I'll study it," says Dark Pit, brimming with confidence; he's willing to do anything at this point, considering how close he is to writing.

"Alright, but there is something else you'll have to memorize." Robin sighs. "I'm not a very good singer."

"Huh?" Dark Pit was thrown off by this remark. "What does singing have to do with writing?"

"There's a song for the alphabet. It's kind of odd for a man like me to be singing something like that, though." Robin rubs the back of his neck. "I don't know how old I am anyways, so I suppose this won't be too weird. It doesn't involve much singing for a song."

Dark Pit slumps into the chair, sinking down to the floor, his words drowned out by his groans. "I don't want to sing . . ."

Dark Pit later found that it wasn't so bad. The only dreadful part was having to sing it often to memorize it, which was quite irksome to any who heard him.

 _Oh, the things I'll do to make fun of Pit. . ._

Author's Note: I thank all of the anonymous users who reviewed the story. I appreciate the feedback! I also thank those who followed and/or favorited this story. I practice writing, you enjoy my story; sounds like a win-win situation! I apologize if anyone finds the chapter length irksome.


	5. New Student

Corrin sits beside her fellow dragon, who is also named Corrin. The latter often goes by Kamui as to prevent confusion between the two - by the time the two Robins thought of doing that, everyone had already adapted to referring to the both of them as Robin.

"We have to go next," Kamui tells the other. "Since we share a spot, only one of us has to go, right?" He asks. Corrin nods in reply.  
Kamui stands up. "I'll go, then, since you fought last time."

"Alright," says Corrin. "Have fun!"

As Kamui makes his way to the portal room, he turns back and smiles at the other before wishing her a farewell.  
Corrin relaxes a little, but her muscles soon tense up when she's squeezed from behind.

"Ah-!"

"I've been looking for you!" says a childish voice, causing Corrin to remove the arms from around her and look back.

She sees a young angel with a smile on his face. "And you are. . .?"

"Pit!" replies the angel, raising himself higher and lower with the tips of his feet.

"Hello, Pit. I'm Corrin," says Corrin with a gentle smile equipped.

"I already know that," Pit tells her, "Since I've been looking for you."

"Why have you been looking for me?" Corrin asks him, worry forming and her stomach sinking.

"I want you to teach me how to read and write!"

"What?" Corrin furrows her eyebrows. "Why me, and why so sudden? I'm sure there's someone around that can teach you better than I can."

"I want you to do it!" says Pit, allowing Corrin to see that he has little reason behind most of the things he does. "And to keep it a secret!"

"Alright," says Corrin. I won't question it. He's being genuine, she thinks. Being raised in isolation, she knows little of con artists and tends to do things without question.

"We can just meet here every now and then," Pit says, planning to wing it.

"But how do I know when 'every now and then' is?" asks Corrin. With no response from Pit, she takes the initiative. "We'll just meet here every time there's a match?"

"Sure, that works!" Shouts Pit, prancing away. Though excited to start, it appears that he isn't going to start now.

 _I wonder why he wants to know how to read,_ thinks Corrin. _Well, I guess he doesn't have to have a reason, really. It's a good skill to have._ She turns back to the screen to watch the match.  
 _This'll be fun._

Author's Note: I apologize for not updating as of recent; I've been working on some things! I hope you enjoy this. I thank all of those guests who reviewed. I'll try to update more and have longer chapters. orz


	6. Unknown Competition

"I understand it's reasonable to want to know how to read, but is there any specific reason you sought out my help?" Robin asks whilst watching Dark Pit write the letter "A" all over the paper.

Struggling to stay in the lines, Dark Pit resorts to writing the uppercase letters within two lines; Robin notices this and chuckles at the sight. The angel really is cute when he's flustered or frustrated.

"I asked you specifically because you're smart and since you seem like the kind of guy who can keep a secret," replies Dark Pit, then proceeding to curse under his breath as the pencil breaks. Now sharpening the pencil, he continues. "If I told you why I wanted to learn you probably wouldn't be helping me."

"Hmm? Why's that?"

"I just said you wouldn't want to help me if I told you, so don't expect me to tell you," replies Dark Pit with a nonchalant tone, proceeding to struggle to hold the pencil in a comfortable way.

"I don't really judge. Everyone has their reasons, and it's justified in their minds." Noticing the angel's struggles, he says, "Why not try holding it in your left hand?"

* * *

"And this is the last letter, 'Z,'" says Corrin whilst showing Pit what said letter looks like. Said angel stares at it in awe, "it" being the letter "Z," an ordinary sight to most.

"Wow, that's all of them?" asks Pit. "I'll be sure to memorize them all next time I see you!"

Corrin smiles at her student's enthusiasm. "That'll certainly make it easier, but don't stress yourself." Beginning to gather her belongings, she asks, "What exactly was it that made you want to learn how to read?"

Not being proficient in the art of lying, Pit answers with a sheepish smile and tone. "I wanted to be smart, like you!"

Corrin, however, is dense due to the isolation she experienced for quite a few years; the result of this is her believing the petty lie. "I'm flattered. It's nice to see how determined you are!"

 _She believed it,_ thinks Pit. _Hey, maybe I'm getting pretty good at lying!_

Author's Note: I once again apologize for this chapter lacking in length, and the story lacking in updates. This is just a side thing, after all. The last portion of this chapter sparks a question: What is Pit's motivation? Though it may be obvious, it's the closest I can get to an interesting turn of events.


End file.
